Shanghai'd in Beijing

Does this look like the face of a fat Chinese con-man? (the guy on the right's pretty ugly, too)

Long story short, I got conned.  Worked over.  Taken for a ride.  I was Cassidy in Season Two of Lost, and these Chinamen(1) were a two-headed Sawyer, playing me like a fiddle.  I should've read all the signs:  the all-too-friendly approach; the willingness to lend me money; the suspicious introductions using American names rather than Chinese.  I'm sure I had a target on my white-bread neck that would've been conspicuous in Gary Larson's "How Birds See the World" cartoon.  But after last night's ordeal, I welcomed the notion of any English speakers showing me around.  I was the perfect score. 

Inauspiciously, "Tom," "Henry," and I toured Tianenmen Square and Old Beijing, where I got a decent showing around.  Then it turned south; we got massages (no Kassie, nothing dirty) that my "guides" fronted the money for (such a red flag! but I was in too deep), and then tea.  Once the bill was presented to us, I quickly saw what was going on here.  Classic "bring the tourist to our shop, overcharge the sh*t out of him, and take a cut" scam.  But we were very far from where I was staying/knew where to go, and I didn't want trouble.  So I quietly took my medicine and paid.  It was clear we all knew what was going on when they asked "Where next?" and my response was "I don't know, I don't have any money left."  Instead of walking me back to where we'd met, they simply pointed me to the subway and got on their way.  You win this round, you fat-faced pig.   

I'm thinking maybe I should've read those emails from Digilio more carefully; but then I'd run the risk of having to write "Digilio was right, Part II" and I cannot stand for that. 

Once I got back to my hotel room, I checked my receipts and calculated my costs post-exchange rate.  A couple hundreds bucks for a massage and some crappy drinks?  Hm, I've seen these prices before... this place is starting to feel like home...

1 - Is Chinamen the preferred nomenclature when you're actually in China?  I'll have to ask Walter Sobchak -  if it's not, I was just quoting The Dude.